Hello to all the gorgeous ladies here!!! I feel like it’s been a while since I published my last blog post and kind of missed you all. Though I was on Facebook interacting with you all, but it’s different when you guys come here , hear me out and respond to me. I kind of just missed that. Anyway, I have a very special and different topic to share with you all today. Liyana from Rouge and Ruche was kind enough to contact me with this collaboration idea of sharing everything about hijab , due to which I finally am able to do this post. There are other amazing bloggers with me in this collaboration and you will find their links at the end of this post. I’m hoping that through this post, you will come to know more about us and how we connect with each other through faith. I always am honest in my posts, but today you will see me open up more inshaAllah.
My childhood wasn’t at all anything about practicing Islam strictly. We all followed the basic rules, like avoid Haram (the prohibited) food and drinks, offer Friday prayers ( yes, just the Friday prayer but eventually turned to 5 times a day, daily Alhamdulillah, May Allah guide all of us. ) and I guess that’s it. My father was strict though about Friday prayers, that was the only day I felt like I am doing my duty as a Muslim. Thanks to my dad( May he get the highest level in Jannah) I learned how to offer prayer, memorize a couple of Surahs, learned how to write Arabic as he would make me repeat writing the verses of Quran till I memorize. We lived separate from our family, independently in U.A.E and I grew up seeing no one in my close relative wearing hijab. My mom would occasionally cover her head when going out to the market. I didn’t know what hijab was till I was 17years old.
At the age of 17, we moved to Pakistan and I joined college. My parents would just tell me very casually to cover my head when I go out, so I would just wrap the dupatta and go out. Not that I was fascinated by the people around me wearing hijab, but out of nowhere I just felt like wearing abaya and wear my scarf in a way that it won’t be removed when I’m out. My father asked, why wear too early? Give yourself sometime, think a lot first , once you wear you shouldn’t move back then. I was determined to wear so I did. Then after few months I decided to wear Niqaab(face cover), once again my beloved father jokingly said, all the boys in our neighborhood will have to line up just to see you face. Of course I knew that was a big joke. LOL. I started wearing niqaab for couple of years. BUT on and off. I will wear abaya when I will feel like only and same with Niqaab. Eventually life took a turn where I abandoned Hijab 100%. That’s a long story. You won’t want to read that long.
The Actual Reason I decided to Wear Hijab
Though I abandoned hijab, the girl inside me that always wanted to practice this modest fashion eventually made her way out and I started wearing scarf with my Shalwar Kameez(Pakistan’s national dress), this time I was determined not to remove because my reason of wearing was different. I wanted to do something that would please Allah and this was the smallest thing I could do. But I get compliments on how beautiful I look when in Hijab and I felt encouraged but one day, when me and my family were dining in a restaurant, as I walked pass the hall to get a plate, I saw a lot of heads turning towards me, not just male but mostly female. It made me uncomfortable. Since childhood I was always the centre of attraction and it made me feel proud of myself. But that was the first time, when I didn’t like the attention. For a second I thought I must be having something on my face , the reason everyone is looking at me. So I went to the restroom and checked, there for the first time I looked at myself in a very different way. I saw a beautiful woman, who looked stunning, with perfect lip color, perfect eyeliner and a very beautiful and bright scarf that matched the dress. (not being conceited ) That was when I told myself this is not what I want. That second I decided , I will wear a proper hijab (abaya was what came to mind as I already was wearing head cover) so they won’t see the bright dresses I wear , lighten my makeup when in public, if 10 are watching me now, next time only 3 will notice me.
Alhamdulillah after this decision, I have never encountered such situation of discomfort. No looking back inshaAllah , this is me , hijab is my identity. With hijab, I feel myself, I feel safe, I feel happy and somewhere inside me I know I am making a difference each day.
Please note, that I do not by all means am promoting abaya as hijab. Hijab is not abaya and abaya is not hijab. One can observe hijab even without abaya by wearing modest clothing, just that I felt my clothes were so attractive that I felt I should cover them too. It is a struggle daily, specially in terms of makeup, I loveeeeee makeup I do apply makeup though, depending on situation.
Hope you guys weren’t bored with my unintentional long post. Do share with me your hijab stories, I love to hear you!
More Hijab Stories: (Click the lonks below and it will take you to their hijab stories)
Automatiq High by Tiq Zulkifli
Sunglow and Me by Adina
Rouge and Ruch by Liyana